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Sheryl Andrews

The Listening Detective

Ignoring The Warning Signs

I had been wiggling and jiggling it for several months, ignoring the the fact that I needed to make the decision to replace it. It was like I was hoping it would miraculously fix itself.

In this update, I want to invite you to consider what decisions you are putting off and what the impact is.

I also want you to consider what might happen if you consciously decide not to decide. And or decide when you will decide.

How much time might that free up? How much more head space might you have if you had clarity of what you were going to do and when?

Busyness of life

In the busyness of life, it is easy to ignore decisions we need to make and sometimes we can be so busy that we are not even aware we are ignoring decisions. But it can niggle away in the back of our minds, and every time we get a moment of peace there, it is, vying for our attention like an impatient toddler wanting to know why or when. And sometimes, the reason we are so busy (albeit unconsciously) is to prevent us having time for pesky thoughts to creep in. But at what cost? What is the impact on our health, wealth and happiness.

I can certainly see now, in hindsight, how this decision played out for me, and I am grateful to have taken the time to unpack my process because I will certainly do things differently in the future.

The value of wiggling and jiggling

To give you some context, my laptop cable had become temperamental. Sometimes working and sometimes not. Eventually, it only took the slightest movement, and the cable would dislodge, and I would be left praying the battery lasted to the end of the task and/or conversation.

I can recall talking to my husband about my laptop cable almost daily for the past few months. Sometimes I was laughing at the games I had played and other times about the frustration of how it was impacting how I showed up. He would happily listen. But I had not fully understood that I was repeating an old pattern. At some level, I was wanting permission to buy a new one. Now my husband, on the other hand, is assuming I was happy with the wiggling and jiggling and that if I was not, I would buy another so did not think he needed to say anything.

So the wiggling and jigging continued, and he even started to wiggle and jiggle with me. Typically, he worked out what he believed was the magic routine, and it worked for a bit. And so I started a new wiggle and jiggle routine, ensuring I did things in a certain order and a certain way.

Then it died. It was no more. No matter how much either of us wiggled or jiggled or in what order it was gone. What was interesting is that the moment it died, my husband swung into action and ordered a new cable. I didn’t even ask him, he just did it. Meanwhile I revived an old laptop that had not been used for almost 3 years.

The relief was instant. No more wiggling and jiggling and I wondered why I had struggled for so long.

Patterns, Process and Progress

It is often only when we catch ourselves repeating a certain pattern that we start to pay attention to our decision-making process, and sometimes we wait until we are in crisis before we stop and think about it and or ask for help.

I am lucky this did not impact me or my business that much this time, but it could have. It could have caused a lot of stress.

What do I know now?

I know that I was, in part, waiting for permission from my husband to buy a cable. Now partly that is due to assuming he has more knowledge and wisdom as to what can be repaired or not and partly because we have a joint commitment to reduce costs this year as part of our ‘practising pensioners project’

But mostly, I had a self-imposed condition: I did not want to be the one that ‘cost’ us money. But the irony is that with all the time I spent wiggling and jiggling, I could have had better conversations and potentially made more money. What was particularly interesting was to observe the assumptions I had made about how much a cable might cost and that my decision not to buy a replacement was based on a made up amount and yet the amount was definitely influence my decision.

One thing I would do differently when avoiding making a decision that involves spending money, is that I would check the cost and do the research first.

I assumed it was going to cost £45/£50 when in reality it was only £17. The interesting thing for me to observe about myself is that I would have been happy to spend £17 and up to £20 but it turns out that when it gets nearer £50 I am not. That is interesting for me to know.

What difference does knowing this make to me now?

1. I will own that the decision has to be mine as I am the one it impacts, even if I need expert advice or it has implications for a joint commitment.

2. I need to know how much it would cost before deciding to buy or not when money is the major factor

3. I need to consider the cost of not making the decision and the financial impact it will have short. medium and long term.

What decisions do you need to make? How long have you been putting it off and or feeling stuck with it?

What is the impact of not making the decision?

For hints, tips and strategies for making good decisions, please do check out this week’s ‘Make it Happen Monday’ show, which is all about confidence in your decisions. You can view it HERE

And if 2023 is the year you want to be better at making decisions.

If this is the year that you get better at deciding how you use your time and or spend your money let’s chat.

 

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About The Author

Sheryl Andrews (aka The Listening Detective)

Founder of Step by Step Listening, Sheryl Andrews has always been keen to create space where other people felt safe to speak their truth no matter what that was. She is well known for her ability to motivate, manage and mentor others through change and loves nothing more than helping others feel heard and understood. She soon discovered there were 8 different kinds of listening and often people started talking without knowing which they needed. At Step by Step Listening they create space to explore what kind of listening works to ensure individuals are resourced to work, learn and live at their best with others and on their own. .

For regular updates and examples of how listening skills can resource you to manage yourself, time and others through change check out Free Success without Stress updates

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