Sheryl Andrews
Sheryl Andrews

The Listening Detective

Now I Can Confidently Say No

Belinda talks about her story.

“When I first became self employed I worked every hour I could, I took every single opportunity and forced myself to do more, even when my body was telling me to rest! I didn’t know how to say no without feeling guilty. I put myself and my needs at the bottom of the pile. The result was that I did really well professionally but I would become ill.  I would feel exhausted and the only time I rested was when I was asleep. Even then I’m not sure I was resting. Over time, I became resentful of my life and it’s lack of balance.

I looked for companionship in partners but felt frustrated and disappointed that they weren’t treating me well.

Then came my clarity sessions with Sheryl.

Sheryl gave me the tools to listen to myself and to include ME in my busy world. I learned to STOP and take a look at what I really wanted and who I wanted to spend my time with and how.

I can now confidently say NO if I don’t want to do something or something doesn’t feel right, without feeling guilty.

My motor inside me now purrs instead of spinning like a washing machine on full spin! I recognise sooner if I’m losing balance and can take myself to lie down and rest on my bed. I now have a better sense of calm and I have the tools to get me purring again!

I can honestly say that my sessions with Sheryl are my lifeline and the clarity I gain every time is as essential as eating, drinking and exercise.

What was happening before working with Step by Step Listening?

I was running 3 businesses, a single mum of two and in a personal relationship that was eating away at my soul. I knew it wasn’t right and found myself persisting wanting to make it work.

What kind of sessions have you attended?

I started with one to one sessions, I then changed to a monthly Clarity and Confidence retreat which I aptly named the power of me sessions. Then I attended both Do, Delegate & Ditch and Motivate, Manage or Mentor retreats. I still attend about 6 half day clarity and confidence retreats per year to maintain clarity and focus.

What was the result?

The very first session I remember being asked, where would I like to be?

I found myself on the carpeted floor with colouring pens and crying because all I wanted was to be able to sit on the carpet with my children and have some fun. As a single mum the pressure was on me to provide financially for my family and emotionally I didn’t feel supported. I remember talking about my ideal Christmas and my first few sessions were focused on how would my personal life, business life and family need to be to make it possible.

There was quite a lot to what seemed quite a simple problem.

What happened is that I:

  • Ditched my boyfriend
  • I gained clarity of what I wanted in my business and my home
  • Moved house and bought my own property meaning that my ex partner no longer had any influence/control on what I did to the property and I was more motivated to invest in and make it a home because it was for me
  • Managed my diary and my clients differently
  • Faced the numbers in my business and introduced a monthly premier club which gave me financial stability even when the classes were quiet
  • Developed a name and strap line for all my 3 businesses that encapsulated what I stand for. The name Pazzazz me was developed and the strap line “Look good feel great”.
  • The new brand meant my sales process was more effective as I only had one message and I could sell all my services to all of my databases. There were a number of things that needed to happen for that to happen and step by step I have been able to line everything up to create the home life that I wanted.
  • I stopped letting my network marketing companies control me and trusted my own unique way of working within their framework
  • Gave up my company car to eradicate the fear of failure and emotional pressure that created and allowed me to focus on what I wanted.
  • Met the man of my dreams and for the first time ever we feel like a ‘proper’ family
  • Learned that my personal training is different to others and how to value and sell that, which saw the launch of PEP workshops in 2015 and now my online movement and mobility classes as a result of the pandemic.

What would you tell someone who is currently experiencing overwhelm?

I can honestly say that my clarity and confidence retreats are my lifeline and the clarity I gain every month is an essential part of me just like eating, drinking and exercise. If you are not sure, then just chat to Sheryl, by the end of the conversation you will know if it will work for you. I am always surprised how quickly the questions help me settle my state and help me clarify my thinking.

From Sheryl

I would like to thank Belinda for taking the time to share her experience and if you are interested in finding out more please do get in touch. I have also worked with Belinda as my physical trainer and I highly recommend her online movement and mobility programmes.

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About The Author

Sheryl Andrews (aka The Listening Detective)

Founder of Step by Step Listening, Sheryl Andrews has always been keen to create space where other people felt safe to speak their truth no matter what that was. She is well known for her ability to motivate, manage and mentor others through change and loves nothing more than helping others feel heard and understood. She soon discovered there were 8 different kinds of listening and often people started talking without knowing which they needed. At Step by Step Listening they create space to explore what kind of listening works to ensure individuals are resourced to work, learn and live at their best with others and on their own. .

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