Delegating tasks and responsibilities can be daunting, particularly for those who are used to being in control. However, delegating can improve productivity and growth both at work and home. When we delegate we not only share the burden of responsibility but we give someone else the opportunity to take on more responsibility which enables them to not only grow but also value their own abilities and contribution. Not to mention if you ask someone that absolutely loves doing the thing you want done, they get so much joy out of being able to do something that is appreciated and valued by you.
If you find it hard to ask for help and or delegate, the goods news is that delegating is a skill you can learn and develop over time.
Here are 6 things to consider when delegating:
1. Identify the right person for the task When delegating, it’s essential to choose the right person for the job. Consider their skills, experience, and interests to ensure they can complete the task to the best of their ability. Assigning a task to someone who is not equipped or capable of doing it will lead to frustration and disappointment, both for you and the person you delegated to. Unless of course they want to learn and you are willing to teach them.
I remember coaching one lady who was frustrated because her son never did the dishwasher. However, she also never did the dishwasher. What transpired is that her husband did do it, was happy to do it and had time to do it. He was the right person. The mother however was ‘trying’ to get the child to do it because she thought he needed to know how and because she wanted him to take on more responsibility. When she focused on ‘tasks he was capable of and loved doing that also represented taking more responsibility she discovered he loved decorating and he happily took on decorating his own bedroom. She also recognised that if she could get through life without unloading the dishwasher perhaps he would be okay too.
2. Communicate clearly Ensure that you communicate the tasks, requirements, goals, and expectations clearly. Be specific about what you want doing and when you expect it to be completed. Ask for feedback to make sure that the person you delegated to understands what’s expected of them. Also, confirm they understand what resources are available to them to accomplish the task.
Clarity and clarifying are probably the most overlooked part of the process. All too often we humans fail to say what we mean, mean what we say and sometimes we are mean when we say it. We often talk about what we don’t want rather than what we do want and when we talk in terms of outcome, we often fail to articulate how we will know if it is working e.g. what we will actually see and hear.
During lockdown, I found myself asking my husband to come and help me make up ‘Do, Delegate or Ditch’ Academy welcome packs on a Saturday morning. He looked at me a little bemused, which made me realise that I did not need help making the packs up. I had time, and I had the skills, but what I needed was not to feel quite so alone with it all. Weeks and weeks of being locked in my office behind the screen, running my business on my own without any external connection, had left me feeling isolated. I could hear him and my son laughing and bantering with their teams on zoom, and I was struggling. So, I changed my request to, would you keep me company whilst I make the packs up, please? That resulted in him sitting in the same room as me, reading his book and us occasionally pausing to chat which turned out to be all the help I needed.
3. Trust. Trust is essential when delegating tasks. If you’ve identified the right person for the job, trust that they will do it well. Micromanaging or constantly checking up on the progress of the task will only undermine their confidence and make them feel like you don’t trust them.
Trust is so important and when I have explored trust with my clients, some believe trust is earned, and others believe trust is there until it is lost. So I think a vital part of any delegation partnership is understanding what would you hear and see that tells you that you are trusted and or trusting?
Where does trust come from for you?
Often trust comes from experience, and yet when we delegate or ask for help, it can feel like we are starting from scratch as we get to know someone and how they work and what doesn’t work. It is a process of taking action and getting feedback to develop the working relationship and it won’t always be right first time. Learning to track progress, celebrate success and give evidence based feedback when things are not working can all lead to more trust. Learning what you need to give and receive feedback is one skill that can resource you to develop trust.
I recall a time when my then 14-year-old son wanted to travel to London on his own to meet friends he had known on line for a number of years. He was super confident and trusted himself. I believed he should be capable of travelling alone, but I had no evidence he would be okay and I did not really trust that I had done enough to set him up for success.
With this in mind, when we were away one weekend, and he wanted to go home earlier than us, we used that as our chance to build trust for him and me in travelling alone.
I put him on a train, and my dad met him at the other end.
My son then talked about his experience and how much he loved it.
I talked about my experience and how sick it made me feel.
We quickly established that he could be trusted to do the travelling, and it was me that was struggling to let go of my role as his parent and protector.
After several conversations, he convinced me that he had done his due diligence and he went on the trip. I asked that he understood this was hard for me and, for this first trip could he let me know every couple of hours that he was okay. He agreed to send me a text with ‘k’ which said he was okay, and from that day I have trusted him to travel and for him to listen when I need reassurance, not because I don’t trust him but because it is a change for me and it helps to have some kind of feedback, which brings us to the next point.
4.Give feedback Giving feedback is crucial to improving performance and ensuring that the task is done correctly. Give positive feedback to encourage them and let them know when they are doing a good job. If there are areas for improvement, provide constructive feedback and guidance on how to improve.
Over the years, I have worked with people who love feedback, and they cannot get enough of it. They thrive on hearing what they can do differently or better. And there were those that any criticism constructive or otherwise could destroy their confidence. Even the question ‘Can I give you some feedback?’ could send some into a state of panic. And then there were those that found it really hard to hear good things and positive praise was deflected. Feedback is vital to learn, grow and develop and poor feedback can traumatise someone, evoking a stress response which reduces their cognitive capacity to process what they are hearing, solve problems and or make decisions.
Developing your skills to give AND receive feedback is one of the core skills we model in Do, Delegate or Ditch Academy.
5. Hold people accountable When delegating, it’s important to hold people accountable for their actions. This means ensuring that they complete the task on time and to the expected standard. If they don’t, you should discuss what went wrong and how to prevent it from happening again.
One of the reasons coaching is so successful is that you have someone to report to. Someone that cares whether you do what you said you would do when you said you would do it. But it is also about unpacking what stopped you. Sometimes without accountability and having some way of reflecting on the process things slip through the net, and we miss opportunities to learn and update our way of working.
Time is often a key cause of frustration. If things are done too quickly, people question if they are done well and if they take longer than they would like it often impacts others. Accountability provides check-in points to review progress and problems and is an ideal opportunity to review if the original timeline was realistic, and whether this is the right person for the task..
6. Setting yourself up for success. In conclusion, delegation is an essential leadership skill for the home and work. By following these tips, you can confidently delegate and ask for help. But that is all very well so long as you know yourself well enough and you understand what you need to work, learn and live on your and with others. Having a really solid understanding of how you do you, makes it much easier to work in partnership with others. You will know your own process, your patterns and you will know what you need to hear and see to track progress therefore building trust in yourself and the process of delegating.
If you are keen to develop your listening, questioning and feedback skills and you want to be more effective at asking for help and delegating, let’s chat.
