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Sheryl Andrews

The Listening Detective

How To Find Your Mojo

In this article I would like to share with you some of the questions I ask my clients to find their mojo and some of the principles and purpose behind the questions. It is my hope by the end of the article you will have a better understanding of how to find your mojo and how clean coaching can support and resource you to be at your best more of the time.   

“I have lost my mojo” is something I have heard my clients say many times and during the pandemic I heard it even more. When we go through change whether it is actually life threatening or it just feels like it is, it can put a strain on us both mentally and physically. This can affect our ability make decisions, plan and our energy. 

Sometimes the change takes away patterns of behaviour that we did not realise impacted how resourced we felt. Like meeting with friends and venting about how we feel or going for a walk or on holiday.  We probably know logically they help but we overlook their importance when things change and so we forget to build in alternative ways to resource ourselves.

I know for me driving between meetings was something I took for granted. Initially in the lockdown I was grateful to have the time back but it was only post lockdown that I really appreciated how important that thinking time was and that ‘moving’ was an important part of the process. 

I also had not really appreciated that in the car and at home I would talk ideas out loud but that stopped when the house was suddenly full with other members of the family now working from home. Time alone before just happened as a natural part of the ebb and flow of family and business but hybrid working has now meant I need to make a conscious decision to give myself time alone. 

I recall one day during lockdown I sat in our campervan just to give myself some uninterrupted thinking time. 

I would love to know what you have changed and how you are resourcing yourself differently as a result of the changes brought about during the pandemic. 

 

Clarity 

Let’s start with understanding what you mean by what you say. I would usually ask my clients questions like; 

What kind of mojo is that mojo?

Anything else about mojo?

Does mojo have a size or shape? 

Where is mojo? 

Or Your mojo is like what? 

The basic logic is that we need to know what we are looking for in order to find it. But also when we explore a resourceful state that we have experienced in the past, and we bring that thinking and awareness into the now sometimes that is all that is needed to change our of state. e.g. find our mojo. 

What is mojo?

One dictionary definition of mojo is:  “A magic charm, talisman or spell.”

Another is: “Your mojo is your personal power or influence over other people” 

My mojo is my energy and enthusiasm to live life to the full. It is what gives me the motivation to act on my thoughts and my decisions. When I have lost my mojo it is like my body has given up and wants to rest but my head still thinks we should be ‘doing’ something.  Then I get torn between parts of me wanting one thing and other parts of me wanting another. So for me it is not about how I can or cannot influence others. It is more about how I can influence and motivate myself.

My clients have described it as a spring in their step, an energy and their sparkle. What is your definition of mojo? Your mojo is like what for you?

Take a moment now to reflect on the questions above and draw or represent with images or words your mojo. 

For some people taking this time to reflect on and recall what it is like is sufficient for it to return. 

Process

However if this is not sufficient, we can go back in time and retrace the process by exploring what happens just before mojo? or where does mojo come from? 

If you imagine the answer to the previous questions to be one step then the answers to this set of questions is the next step. I find it useful to write the next set of responses on a new piece of paper so that I can mentally and physically separate them. 

For example for one client what happen just before is a decision. We then explored what kind of decision and it was a conscious decision? 

When we explored what happens just before that? 

There was an awareness that her body was tired and something had to change. 

I suggest for now you write a word to two on each post it note to represent your answer. 

Then you might ask what happens just before that? 

You can repeat this kind of questioning as often as you have time for or until you run out of answers. 

You could also explore lost mojo is like what and what happens just before lost mojo? 

The more you investigate what activates/triggers your mojo and what activates/triggers your loss of mojo, the more clues you will find that make sense of this particular behaviour.  You can even explore questions like what happens in between lost mojo and found mojo? Or what happens in between mojo and lost mojo?

The more you understand the more choice and control you have to change your state. 

The client who discovered just before mojo, they made a conscious decision to do something also noticed that they then moved and it was when they moved that their mojo returned. That was their aha moment as she had been waiting for find her mojo to find the energy to move whereas moving was where she got her energy and therefore her mojo. 

Patterns 

Having supported hundreds of people to model out what is happening when they are working, learning and living at their best many talk about wanting to feel productive, useful and of value. 


But what I also noticed is that sometimes they would be busy doing because doing was easier than feeling any pain or discomfort or loss. Doing was easier than feeling powerless, out of control and or helpless. Buy doing also meant that they became fearful of stopping and so they ended up exhausted. 

When we keep busy either to avoid a feeling or in eager anticipation of a sense of satisfaction we can lose sight of what we need to work, learn and live at our best. Many had to relearn what they needed and what worked to rest, restore and recharge.  

And stopping to pause when we are out of the habit can feel uncomfortable. 

Some would describe it as feeling flat, low or even depressed. 

Those that has experienced depression would worry that they are heading down a dark and slippery path. When in reality they were just exhausted and need to learn how to rest. 

I highly recommend you get curious about what works for you to feel rested, restored and recharged whilst also being curious about what works for you to acknowledge and process how you feel.

I have never worked with anyone who wanted to improve their performance and or relationships who did not need to learn how to be better at resting. For some of you those breaks will be sat doing very little and other times it is simply a change of activity. For some it only takes a few deep breaths and for others it can be month long sabbaticals. 

Power Hour

If you find yourself saying you have lost your mojo and you would like to find it, have a go at this activity and let me know how you get on.

If you are still struggling it can be hard to do this kind of thinking when we are exhausted and it helps to have someone else tracking our words and process. I know I have been so grateful for my coach helping me maintain a good state so that I can be there for you.

If I can be of any help please don’t hesitate to get in touch and book a power hour and together we can find your mojo.  Book your power hour here.

Book A Power Hour with Sheryl

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Know something has to change? 

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Clarity of what you want

Confidence in your next step

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About The Author

Sheryl Andrews (aka The Listening Detective)

Founder of Step by Step Listening, Sheryl Andrews has always been keen to create space where other people felt safe to speak their truth no matter what that was. She is well known for her ability to motivate, manage and mentor others through change and loves nothing more than helping others feel heard and understood. She soon discovered there were 8 different kinds of listening and often people started talking without knowing which they needed. At Step by Step Listening they create space to explore what kind of listening works to ensure individuals are resourced to work, learn and live at their best with others and on their own. .

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