“I have lost my mojo” is something I have heard my clients say many times and during this pandemic I am hearing it even more. We have been through so much change and uncertainty not to mention genuinely being told our lives could be in danger, it is not surprising that we are feeling the strain.
Then there are the things that we used to do that perhaps we took for granted that we did not realise were resourcing us so much.
I know for me driving between meetings was something I took for granted and only during lockdown did I appreciate that time gave me time alone to think and talk out loud my ideas without anyone hearing. I had to get used to speaking out loud in my office and pacing up and down the hall. One day I even sat on the drive in our campervan just to give myself some time alone.
I would love to know what you have changed and how you are resourcing yourself differently during this time.
In this article I would like to share with you some of the questions I ask my clients to find their mojo and some of the principles and purpose behind the questions. It is my hope by the end of the article you will have a better understanding of how to find your mojo and how clean coaching can support and resource you to be at your best more of the time.
Let’s start with understanding what you mean by what you say. I would usually ask my clients questions like;
What kind of mojo is that mojo?
Anything else about mojo?
Does mojo have a size or shape?
Where is mojo?
Or Your mojo is like what?
The basic logic is that we need to know what we are looking for in order to find it. But also when we explore a resourceful state like mojo in the here and now it can often create the change of state in the moment.
What is mojo?
One dictionary definition of mojo is: “A magic charm, talisman or spell.”
Another is: “Your mojo is your personal power or influence over other people”
My mojo is my energy and enthusiasm to live life to the full. It is what gives me the motivation to act on my thoughts and my decisions. When I have lost my mojo it is like my body has given up and wants to rest but my head still thinks we should be ‘doing’ something. Then I get torn between parts of me wanting one thing and other parts of me wanting another. So for me it is not about how I can or cannot influence others. It is more about how I can influence and motivate myself.
My clients have described it as a spring in their step, an energy and their sparkle. What is your definition of mojo? Your mojo is like what for you?
Take a moment now reflect on the questions above and draw or represent with images or words your mojo.
For some people taking this time to reflect on and recall what it is like is sufficient for it to return.
However if this is not sufficient, we can go back in time and retrace the process by exploring what happens just before mojo? or where does mojo come from?
If you imagine the answer to the previous questions to be one step then the answers to this set of questions is the next step. I find it useful to write the next set of responses on a new piece of paper so that I can mentally and physically separate them.
For example for one client what happen just before is a decision. We then explored what kind of decision and it was a conscious decision?
When we explored what happens just before that?
There was an awareness that her body was tired and something had to change.
You could write one word answers on post it notes or you could delve deeper and explore what you mean by what you say. The choice is yours and often limited to how much time you have.
Then you might ask what happens just before that?
You can repeat this line of enquiry as many times as you like. You could also explore lost mojo is like what and what happens just before lost mojo?
The more you investigate what activates/triggers your mojo and what activates/triggers your loss of mojo, the more clues you will find that make sense of this particular behaviour. You can even explore questions like what happens in between lost mojo and found mojo? Or what happens in between mojo and lost mojo?
The more you understand the more choice and control you have to change your state.
The client who discovered just before mojo, they made a conscious decision to do something also noticed that they then moved and it was when they moved that their mojo returned. That was aha moment as she had been waiting for find her mojo to find the energy to move whereas moving was where she got her mojo from.
Having supported hundreds of people to model out what is happening when they are working, learning and living at their best many talk about wanting to feel productive, useful and of value. What can happen is that we keep busy because we crave that sense of satisfaction and we lose sight of the fact we need to stop to rest, restore and recharge. When we do stop our system becomes unsettled because this new state is unfamiliar some even confuse it with past experiences or episodes of depression and worry that they are heading down a dark and slippery path. When in reality they are just exhausted and need to learn how to rest.
I highly recommend you get curious about what works for you to feel rested, restored and recharged. I have never worked with anyone who wanted to improve their performance and or relationships who did not need to learn how to be better at resting. For some of you those breaks will be sat doing very little and other times it is simply a change of activity.
During lockdown many have worked and worked because they had nothing else do to and so it could just be that your body is telling you need to rest. The big question is can you if what you normally do to rest is not available or it has been such a long time since you have rested that you have forgotten what works.
If you find yourself saying you have lost your mojo and you would like to find it have a go at this activity and let me know how you get on.
If you are still struggling it can be hard to do this kind of thinking when we are exhausted and it helps to have someone else tracking our words and process. I know I have been so grateful for my coach helping me maintain a good state so that I can be there for you.
If I can be of any help please don’t hesitate to get in touch and book a power hour and together we can find your mojo. Book your power hour here.