In this article I want to share some findings from some research about retirement that I undertook with Marian Way of Clean Learning.
We were curious about what retirement meant to different people and any fears or concerns they may have. We were doing the research to understand if a group programme exploring this topic would be of value and what were the common themes that seemed to impact planning for retirement.
Retirement for you is like what?
We started the interviews with the question: “Retirement for you is like what?”
The more we listened the more differences we heard. Some hated the word retirement and felt it was outdated, some had never thought about it until they were presented with the opportunity to actually retire and others were planning for it and looking forward to it. Most associated retirement with being when they were ‘older’ and mostly that seemed to be sometime after 55 years of age.
In recent poll on Linked in 46% were looking forward to it, 14% dreading it and 41% ambivalent.
The first which comes as no surprise was the lack of clarity around what retirement actually is and what happens when stereo typical definitions don’t fit with your own models. Another was the age and when someone was expected (perhaps by society) to retire versus when they wanted to retire or could afford to retire.
F.I.R.E
Then there are movements like F.I.R.E. (Financial independence retire early) where the next generation are working to spend very little in the early days. They focus on investing to ensure by the time they are 30 or 40 they don’t have to work.
Beliefs, concerns and fears about retirement
Being part of the research has given me insights and understanding about mine and the beliefs, fears and concerns of others about retirement. It has given me better understanding and tools and resources to have conversations with my husband. Money definitely plays a part for sure but it has been interesting to notice what else impacts retirement plans.
I know the fact my mum died at 63 and never made ‘retirement’ has influenced me greatly. Whilst my mum had given up work to help with grandchildren there was always the sense that she would not be properly retired until my Dad retired and they were free to travel more.
It felt like she was in some kind of holding pattern stuck in limbo between being kind of retired and properly retired.
Then I came across the book: Retirement the psychology of reinvention by Professor Kenneth S. Shults PhD. I became aware that our reasons for working can and do influence our attitude towards retiring. For some their identity is wrapped up in their work role and they are unsure who they are without work. For others they work to avoid intimacy and some work because they simply don’t have enough interests outside of work.
Retirement conversations
What has been lovely is witnessing the changes that have occurred as a result of some short discussions about this topic and I am excited to see what emerges following a six week programming exploring this subject.
One lady had been ‘trying’ to retire for two years and a few days after we spoke she announced her retirement. She stopped taking on new clients and committed to ‘just’ serving her existing clients. For her that is retirement.
Bigger windows of time
Another said for her “Retirement meant having bigger windows of time to do the things she loved and having more time without a schedule.” Being someone that runs multiple business and was a single mum for many years changing this pattern of behaviour is going to be a process and she now understands that it won’t be one day she is working and then next she is not. Instead it is more of a gentle reduction of hours and now she is researching franchising her businesses.
And one person who contributed to the research online said for them working less hours was part of the plan and the question I am asking myself is how do you go from full time to part time?
I know for me I have discovered I need more hobbies and interests that keep my attention and stimulate my mind as much as my work otherwise I just slip back into work. Hobbies however unlike work, I can pick up and put down and I do not have to make any real commitment to them, so they give me more freedom and choice over how I use my time.
From Final Chapter to Series Finale
For the lady who has now retired when she first thought of retirement it was like the ‘final chapter’ it felt really heavy and sombre. The more she thought about how retirement made her feel, it was no wonder she had not got around to retiring. She realised she could change the definition. Instead of thinking of it as the final chapter to her life, it could be the series finale. Something to be excited about and something to eagerly await. As she changed her focus, lots of ideas of how she would like her series finale to be came to mind and the decision was made.
When I started to ‘really’ think about the question retirement for me is like what? I noticed this sense of freedom. Less time restrictions. Less things in my diary. More flexibility. I love coaching and that does not feel like work because it is a joy to do, so I saw myself doing that paid or unpaid until the day I die. But what did take up lots of time and I really wanted to retire from was marketing. With this insight I got myself organised and started to batch write content and now have my content planned 6 months in advance and I am now for all intent and purpose retired. From the outside I am still running a business, I am still coaching, writing books and yet inside I feel lighter, freer and very excited at having time to crochet, paint and meet family and friends with very little to no time restraints.
What about you?
Retirement for you is like what?
If this is a question you would like to explore. Please get in touch sheryl@stepbysteplistening.com
Thank you for listening
Sheryl x
The Listening Detective
Sheryl Andrews (aka The Listening Detective)
Everyone deserves to feel heard and understood and yet no-one really trains us how to listen. In the age of information as more people find their voice it is even more important now, than any other time in history that you know how to listen to yourself and others in the sea of noise. Sheryl Andrews aka The Listening Detective is an Award winning motivational speaker, published author of ‘Manage your critic – From overwhelm to clarity in 7 steps’, Founder of ‘Step by Step Listening’ and host of ‘Do, Delegate or Ditch Academy.’ Sheryl’s mission is to change the way the world listens by raising awareness of the different kinds of listening, in particular Clean Language, an extreme form of listening that makes the complex easier to understand. Sheryl is best known for her ability to motivate and inspire change but that often requires first and foremost for the individual to feel safe enough to express how they really feel and what they really want. Making it safe for people to speak is something that is very important to Sheryl. For regular updates and examples of how listening skills can resource you to manage yourself, time and others through change check out Free Success without stress newsletter, which comes out every Wednesday 8am.
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